Goals and Dreams and A-S-P-I-R-A-T-I-O-N-S

To be honest, I haven't been feeling very good lately. Or even very creative for that matter. I've been stuck in a daydream that lasts from about 8am-4pm and then I make dinner, watch Buffy and go to bed. Of course, I do some fun, summer-type stuff in the middle too. But the majority of my day is spent looking out the window, thinking about what I want in life.

Now I'll tell you right now, I change my mind with the wind, but some things have always stuck. I've always loved writing, and I've always loved fashion. As a kid, I would raid my Grandmothers closet and take out all of her gowns and jewelry and just load it on. My grandmother, who literally dressed and acted like some sort of German royalty, always had the best clothes, and I always had the best time dressing up. I also have vivid memories of being in school and being given the option to A) Write a 2,000 word essay on the symbolism in Macbeth, or B) Make a comic strip about Macbeth. Ninety percent of my class did the comic strip. I chose to do the essay. (That I got a very good mark on by the way!)

Anyways. As I've told you all for the ten millionth time, I'm going back to school for journalism. I'm so excited to get better at the writing, layout and photography and everything that I started four years ago. But what I'm really getting stoked on, is the idea of the internship. For the last six weeks (I think) of the course you get to do an internship basically anywhere that will have you. If you want to go across the globe to do your internship, you (theoretically) can.

I am fully aware of the conundrum that is fashion internships, (how you can't really get one without connections, but how can you make connections without an internship) but come next March, I am going to be really gunning to get an internship doing something fashioney. Whether it be here in Ottawa, or somewhere else. I really don't think I will ever be happy until I have a career doing the things I've loved since the start.

While the idea of owning a nice house with a nice lawn here in Ottawa is no-doubt enticing for me; the idea of having a career I am passionate about, seems far more appealing than working a boring 9-5. I understand completely that doing so-called "fashion journalism" may not be the most reliable or stable career, but it's something that I need to take a stab at. I keep seeing such inspirational captions on Pinterest saying things like, "Shoot for the moon because if you fail you'll at least land among the stars" or, "You'll miss 100% of the shots you don't take" and as cheesy and Halmark as these quotes are, they are totally right. I'd rather try this out and shoot for something huge and end up being a beat reporter with a fashion blog on the side, than never try anything at all and remain a secretary or assistant for someone else's passion.

Basically what I'm trying to get across is that I know that what I want in life isn't going to be easy, and it may not always be fun, but I need to try it. And hopefully it works out, but if it doesn't, at least I'll know I went for it. 

OH-KAY. That worked. I'm all pumped now. :)